Hi,

Bill Smith doesn’t work on Fridays, but he's left me a message, telling me what to write in his blog today.

He wants me to let you know that it’s been great fun to share some thoughts on marketing and management with you, and if you're interested in more of the Eristoff strategies and business insights, he'd like to refer you to his top secret Eristoff marketing department site: The Eristoff 22^nd Floor. A bit like the Loch Ness monster, the Eristoff 22^nd Floor creates a lot of commotion without actually showing itself.

Strategies are explained and new business strategies will be added regularly.

For example, ‘when nobody clicks on banners, why not use them for something else’. Check it out on http://www.eristoff.be

That’s it. He also told me to thank the readers of De Standaard for writing positive comments. The others are forgiven.

Nadine

for

Bill Smith

• 0 Reacties

Every morning when I come in, I watch the news. I have a big TV in my office. I also have a big TV in my bedroom. I have a big TV in my kitchen and a big TV in my bathroom. I like big TVs. There’s no fun in staring at a tiny ticker tape with teeny-weeny stock prices. When I make a big profit on the stock market, I want to see it elegantly sliding by in a big way. I have to admit that it’s not easy to find anything else worth watching on my magnifying TV sets. Series never seem to come to the point and Hollywoodmovies’ flaws are just too clearly exposed when watched on a big screen.

Now, instead of fixing the quality problem, it’s gotten worse. Everything ever recorded on videotape is now shamelessly dumped on YouTube. That in itself is no big deal. Nuclear waste is dumped on the bottom of the ocean and it won’t be bothering anyone. Well, not this generation anyway. But YouTube is not the bottom of the ocean. It’s in your face, people are watching it all the time. Dogs biting their own tails, cats playing the piano, children falling off tables, bad musicians, bad jokes, bad taste. Everybody is on there, and you can only watch it on a computer in a ridiculously low resolution. And in the meantime nobody’s fixing my high definition TV content problem.

I’ve decided to bring some real content to YouTube. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to cost me some money, but Eristoff will raise the bar and it won’t harm my own exposure either. And there’s something in it for you, too. I've posted a very entertaining Eristoff film on http://www.youtube.com/eristoff22nd It’s the first film on YouTube combining style, gravitas and sophistication. Make sure you watch the beginning, the middle and the end. They’re almost as good as the stuff in between.

• 4 Reacties

I managed to buy some black market tickets for The Police. Expensive, but my son wanted to treat his college classmates for his birthday. I like the Police, too. Not so much their music, but I’ve always envied gifted musicians for their ability to evoke powerful emotions, to make people happy and hopeful, or sad, or confused or angry. And their ability to charge € 50 for a concert while they’re hot, then split up, get back together and charge € 100 for a concert. That’s a real talent.

They get away with it because there’s nothing more priceless than a fond memory, a sense of belonging, being part of something big. That’s why the word ‘community building’ comes up in every marketing meeting. It’s annoying, the first person in my company to ever use it again loses his parking space.

Should I sponsor this Police concert tour? I talked to Anthony, the guy in charge of event sponsorship. He’s a very talented young guy, parties so much that he hasn’t yet realized I’m underpaying him. Anthony did some research and came back to me with some numbers. I decided I wouldn’t bother.

In fact, why would I sponsor anyone else? I have a popular brand, so somebody who wants to be popular should sponsor me. Building on this thought, Anthony told me the story of Alex Tew, the creator of the 1 million dollar page, charging a dollar a pixel on his homepage and making a million dollars in a month. A very clever way to earn some pocket money. What Alex Tew lacked was ambition. That’s where I come in. Like Picasso and other immortal artists, I know how to turn a funny little idea into something truly inspirational. Check out my masterpiece on http://www.eristoffbilliondollarhomepage.com/

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I arrived early in the office today, there was an 11 o’clock meeting with the people from the design company. They’ve been working on a new bottle. What I got was a room full of designer clothes, designer shoes, designer glasses and an ugly bottle. Their sales speech was wild enough to grant them a certain degree of creativity, but it was a very short meeting.

It was 11.15. I walked into a couple of other meetings but none of them could hold my attention for very long. Back in my office, the Finance Director popped in and did his funny little victory dance. The first quarter was good and so was my day. I still had about an hour to kill before lunch, so I went through the pictures from my last trip to France. I like wine, and I’m in the right business to make a tax- deductible trip to anywhere near a vineyard. Fleur, the French assistant I hired on that trip, came in and looked over my shoulder at the pictures. She admired the one of herself with nothing on but her sparkling personality. ‘Poot zem on flickère,’ she said. ‘Sure,’ I replied. I never understand a word she says, but I do love to hear her talk. 

Later, during lunch, I was talking to a friend about horses, he’s into breeding racehorses. A good business, and horses don’t ask for company cars and pension plans all the time. He told me he'd put pictures of all of his four-legged friends on Flickr.com. ‘Is that the same as Flickère?’ I asked him knowingly. He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about, but later I looked it up and sure enough, there it was.

Another waste of time on a global scale. People posting their snapshots on the net, and other weirdos looking at them. Marketing is so simple these days. When I first started, it took me a whole book to master its full scope. Now, you just stick your product where people are hungry for it. As of today, it will be difficult for any flickr visitor not to come across my own private photo collection.

Enjoy it on http://www.flickr.com/photos/eristoff22ndfloor/

• 0 Reacties

Hi, my name is Bill Smith, I’m the CEO of Eristoff. I sell Vodka. Lots of it. That’s not because I’m a particularly lucky guy or because our grain tastes better than our competitor’s. No, it’s because I know how to run a company and I know how to make a profit. If you're not against big profits, I suggest you read this blog. I had to pay De Standaard 10.000 euros for it, but that's a small price to pay considering the number of readers with money and taste who can appreciate a premium vodka before, during and after work. With ice. Mmm.

This week, I’ll try to give you some insights into what makes this company more successful than some others. I realize that many of my competitors will be reading this, but that’s OK. They’ve copied me before, unsuccessfully.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to skip the part in which I describe how busy, busy, busy a CEO's life is. I don’t think it’s interesting for you to know who I woke up with at what time, what I had for breakfast or whether I drove the blue or green Aston Martin to work. As it happens, it was the blue one and boy, did I push it to the limit, but again, that’s not important.

When you’re in FMCG, it’s crucial to keep your eyes and ears open for what’s happening in the world and what’s on people’s minds. When I got to the office last Friday, I was standing in the elevator next to a girl from Marketing. Politely, I asked her ‘How’s life?’. She replied ‘My first life or my second life?’ It appeared that she was a huge fan of this thing called Second Life and that she spends several hours there every day and that it’s such a great place where you can be yourself, have millions of friends, spend fake money and even buy virtual houses. I asked her when exactly she spent all this time in Second Life. After I fired her, my mind began to wander. Fake money, that part I don’t like, millions of people, that part I do like. I’m not interested in Linden dollars, but maybe we should do a promotion.

So we did. Check it out.

• 12 Reacties